With this, I go back to one of my favourite things in life – inking a few thoughts out of the fifty four million that squabble in my head. It was about time to be honest. A lazy Sunday afternoon preceded by a gorgeous brunch. With a full tummy and a wandering mind, I opened my laptop intending to watch some chick flick till the time for my hot chocolate came beckoning. Instead I accidentally opened another folder named, ‘Other Important Stuff”.
Oh boy! I felt like I had been sucked into a never-ending underground slide, with a kaleidoscope playing pictures dating back almost 10 years. What I had so unceremoniously labelled as “other” included a treasure trove of videos, songs and photographs from my school and college days. Almost under a spell, I moved through them – laughing and crying as I remembered the times I had spent with people – some of them whom I have forgotten even exist! What struck me was these are the virtual but tangible souvenirs that show the “stepping stones” of my life. With every video, every photograph I was witnessing a change in myself. I was different in each one of them. Those were the times who moulded me into what I have become today – how could I have even forgotten about them.
They say in the face of death, almost every moment of your life flashes back in front of your eyes in that one moment. But how come an entire day is nowhere close to even start remembering the people, the days, the goof-ups, the surprising achievements and most importantly the thoughts that used to go through my head. Discreetly tucked away was my private guilty stash of Mills & Boon novels, cheesy songs and heartfelt letters from back then. Why did it feel like I was prying into someone else’s life instead of my own memories? Or was it really an entirely different person? Have I really moved on so much that I have forgotten where I came from – that I can’t even remember the people, the music, the eateries that were my life? Moving to different cities, meeting new people, entering a carnival named “the corporate” should just be adding and deepening the shades of colours in the canvas of my life – and NOT erasing them. I was heartened to realise that few of those people are still there on my speed dial, that lyrics of those old songs rolled off my tongue as easily as my name. Maybe it is not too late to pick up the phone and give a call to few of them. And plunge myself into doing what I always love (read: writing; yes – you see what I did there!) and rediscover myself.
This was not an epiphany. This was not something that came to me when I was half drunk and feeling lonely. We never book our calendars to watch the old videos and cringe at our hairstyles. It was unplanned and purely accidental – totally random that got triggered with the accidental clicking of “Other Important Stuff”. Which I guess helped in essentially sucker punching me and realize that I owe it to myself to keep in touch in my roots and not completely lose myself in the sad process we call ‘growing up’.
Daenerys Targaryean has made it her mantra – “If I look back, I am lost”. But how do you find your way ahead if you do not know where you have come from?
Welcome back to me! 🙂
Linking up with Stream of Conscious Saturday with the prompt “Memory” I know I am bending the rule here, but my first post was what flashed through my mind with the prompt.
Well written! It reminded me of my random nostalgic hysterical moments 🙂
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Thank you 🙂 Glad that you could connect!
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Whoa! This really connects. So much applies to me!
Keep it up and all the best 🙂
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Thank you for your comment 🙂
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Beautifully written..i can totally visualise everything and connect to life now and back then..Praj..continue writing and inspiring !
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Thanks Pranjali 🙂 So glad you could take a trip in your memories! I will do my best and keep trying..
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Wow Praju, this is wonderful and you have good writing skills and your presentation style is awesome…keep writing and sharing….
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Wow Praju, this is wonderful and you have good writing skills and your presentation style is awesome…keep writing and sharing….
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Thank you Mugdha Vahini 🙂 I am still in the exploring and discovering phase. Have a lot to learn! So glad you enjoyed this!
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So beautifully expressed, dear!! 🙂 Am glad you took to writing.. Welcome back to ‘You’!! 🙂 What a beautiful feeling that!! 🙂 Keep expressing & keep being ‘You’ ‘ALWAYS’!! 🙂
Loadz of Löve.. 🙂
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Thank you Rushabh bhai! So glad you enjoyed it.. I hope to give it my best everytime I pick up my pen 🙂
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And you had to put the Kala Academy jetty as the pic for your first post!! I live two kilometres away and have not been there in the last two years. To think that I was chatting for two hours with a 2008-10 batch sitting in the café in Kala Academy last Wednesday . Of course it was raining….. but you set off some need to go there. Nostalgia?
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Thank you sir for reading this post! 🙂 And yes. This pic was one of the triggers that set off all those thoughts and is arguably one of the best natural pics I clicked in those two years. The jetty is one of my favourite spots in Goa!
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That’s Awesome Prajakta.. You should keep on indulging yourself into more of Writing.. 👍👍👍
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Thanks Adit for you comments 🙂 I don’t plan to stop now..
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Praju! 🙂
YOU ARE SOOO GOOD AT THIS! 😮
Can completely relate to everything mentioned there.
You expressed it very well..
Keep writing,sis! :* 🙂
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Sista!! 😀 Thank you so much… So glad it struck a chord with you!
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Woaaahh… This hit me in the pit of my stomach. Made me ache to get back to those “collections” i keep in me laptop.
What made me is my past!!… message well received yo! all those cringes and those “holy crap” moments that made my life.. I cant believe i pushed them to a corner in my head. Well written and easily connected. Give me more to read. 😀
P.S. I’m too lazy to log in.
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Thank you Nav! Glad you could connect.
I want to see how we ruminate in a few years! You got some fab disasters planned 😛
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Very nicely written!! Frankly for the first time I have read some blog and felt really good! keep it up! 🙂
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Thanks Darshan 🙂 I am glad my work could connect with you
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Isn’t it strange how some memories are lost and others stay with us. I have always been interested in this situation. Enjoyed your post.
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And when those memories pop up, you question how real they were! Thanks John 🙂
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Loved this post — and incidentally, I think it’s fine you used a previous post for SOCS. You said it upfront and it was your first thought in response to the prompt, in perfect stream of consciousness style. 🙂 So I say it’s all good; personally, I was also happy to read this since it was new to me as a recent follower of your blog!
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Thanks a lot for your comment and follow 🙂 This made me feel better and not as guilty…
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Found your post from LInda’s site, nice writing, nostalgia can be quite a powerful thing.
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Thanks a lot for stopping by 🙂
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Oh well, I’ll get better at this SOC thing! You wrote beautifully. I could see myself hearing all the old songs I loved. I, too, sometimes feel I’m invading someone else’s privacy when I look at old pics of myself. “Where did that girl go?” Yet, you took out lessons learned and became who you are now. That’s always a good thing. Lovely writing.
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Haha! Welcome aboard! SOCS can get addictive – very liberating. And thank you for your kind comments 🙂 As time passes, more such moments count and become lessons.
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It’s a great feeling to go back to old documents, pictures, and experiences. It’s important to record those things as they happen! Great post, Prajakta. 🙂 Thanks so much for linking it to SoCS. 😀
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Thanks Linda 🙂 Memories are nothing if not a reminder of how far you come!
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