We Women, I swear!

We love. We hate. We talk. We ignore. We hug. We sulk. We support. We bitch.

We are the best of friends. We are the worst of enemies.

We are the biggest fans. We are the sharpest critics.

We give it our all. We take everything back.

We are women.

With the brain and heart not really working in tandem, I have been a giant dessert salad bowl of feelings, emotions, practicality and logic. It’s a crust of impudence, a fudge of flirtatiousness, a ganache of sensitivity, a sprinkling of caution all blended together in a fascinating sauce of womanly seasonings.

I was never a girly girl. It was never about pink frocks and beaded jewelry. Yes, I came up with disasters when I played with mom’s make up and made dad an essential part of Barbie tea parties… but at the end of the day, being a girl was never really my distinctive quality. And then came the thriving, terrifying teens and life was topsy-turvy! A nerdy introverted kid, I had a small group of close friends. I was a part of those girl gangs but never really in with my heart and soul. I was a spectator, a witness, an objective third party. And what I saw…

Why is it that it is our girlie gang behind many of those lurking misgivings, tiny hurtful sentiments and moments of self-doubt? Why are there unspoken words behind tags of partners-in-crime, female solidarity and sisterhood? We compete for the chic dress and funky hairdo. We compare our bodies and draw satisfaction when the scales tilt towards the other’s heavier side. We gossip like crazy about the sexual escapades of our fellow women and go mad over stalking the exes of our boyfriends to be assured “Oh! You are better! She is no competition at all”. We have a bunch of fake friends and a photo album full of groupies you couldn’t care less of! We dislike this one girl on sight and label her with every bad name we can think of (Okay fine! At times, she really is a cow… female intuition works here!) We subtly criticize when one of our own has an outstanding achievement. We have double standards – we demand liberalisation and unlocking the shackles but do not shy away from slut-shaming a promiscuous woman.

Nothing and no one is spared… boyfriends, wardrobes, jobs, paychecks, relationships with our moms, our cooking repertoire! I have been guilty of quite a few and have no doubt that I ain’t changing overnight. Why do we do this to ourselves? These crossed wires mazing around! Yes, I am doing some major generalizing. It doesn’t happen every time with everyone… but at one point, at one moment, it has happened.

Yet, it is impossible to live without our daily dose of female camaraderie. I love my girlfriends! I love exchanging clothes, gossiping over drinks, bonding over our mutual hatred of the period gods (I may dislike her, but it will never stop me from lending a tampon to my girl in need), comparing first times, swapping love tips, sorting family issues and be insanely crazy. At times, a comforting shoulder and a nice cuddle with our mates is our sustenance. We will be lost without each other and these quirks which are so uniquely female!

SATC quote nails it – “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with”

Peace.

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33 thoughts on “We Women, I swear!

  1. Girlfriends might be our soul-mates, but what we do to each other is often far from pretty. I certainly can’t judge anyone who slips and belittles another women in our feminine version of competitiveness, I’m guilty of the same far too often.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well written! This can be a guide for a teenaged guy to help understand girls better :p I feel like writing a male version of this. A Fitting reply. Healthy competition, no battle of the sexes 😀
    And you never were a girlie girl? Well you are now, at your peak!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. REVEALING FOR ME. NEVER THOUGHT ON THESE LINES BUT THEN OUR TIMES WERE TOTALLY DIFFERENT. WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DETAILED DISCUSSIONS WITH YOUR LADAKI MOM ON HER RETURN.

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  4. well said. it truly is a conundrum at times! yet it is so important that we appreciate and nurture our authentic friendships.

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  5. Excellent perspective. My daughter was a princess once…until she had girl friends, then she became a warrior princess just to survive the battles over um…everything from style to boys. I thank God everyday I’m not a woman. 😉

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  6. Man, this scared the shit out of me. No wonder I have PTSD and is not from cool army days is from woman!! So very true what I read it send chills up my spine, probably won´t be sleeping tonight. Worst enemy you said? Holy Wally! tell that to my crazy ex, she even got me into court since as she said “if you ever leave me I´ll make your life impossible” and she didn´t. But just an added hassle to deal with in my life, pain in the neck was this crazy one

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  7. I love this post. I miss having girlfriends. I went to a women’s college for a reason. Because men serve one purpose. And, female friends serve all the others. Girlfriends are crucial as women. Because, eventually our male counterparts die early. And, I can’t say that I’m all that interested in finding another one. But, girls I could use for a cuddle, cry, and rant.

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