Finding Flirting 101

That makes two of us!
That’s my line!

C: He was asking for your number. I’ll give him?

Me: Who? What number?

C: The guy you were ignoring for your jalapeno cheese balls….

Me: Oh him!! 😐

A typical scene from my life! I have had approximately 13.5 conversations (I abandoned one half-way; my Bailey’s shot had arrived) that fall into this pattern. After long hours of pondering, I have narrowed down the top reasons why I never know when a guy flirts with me –

  1. Food
  2. Dog (generally a lab)
  3. Food
  4. Music
  5. Sheer Dumbness/Ignorance
  6. Food

I am NOT joking. I am completely clueless at zooming in if a guy is genuinely being nice or actually flirting – especially with yummy cheesy food around. Yes, I am a woman with priorities sorted out really well!

I see friends fall for people in a matter of days. Or hours. They hop, skip and jump from one “relationship” to another in a matter of weeks. They decide that it clicks and off they ride into the sunset – or the nearest coffee shop. It is just their scene, you know! And then you have me, who takes months if not years to realize that someone was into me – let alone even the possibility of a relationship. At parties, I see couples everywhere and wonder where was I when they were collecting “getting together” skills!

I checked and double checked myself. Yeah, I am fine. I have those moments of insane attraction – so clearly nothing wrong in the biology department. I am pretty by most standards. And I am not a total retard. The tiniest of problems lies in missing the skill of subtly deducing that the guy talking about trying out that new place might just be asking me for a date. Apparently it is not rocket science! Generally, it is shoved into my face by a not-so-sympathetic friend who doesn’t even hide rolling her eyes. Once, someone actually deigned to share a few flirting templates for my understanding.

Yeah, woe is me.

So anyway, a friend was telling me about this girl he met sometime back and they hit off pretty well (really, where does all this happen???). They are now on a perpetual flirt mode overflowing with innuendos. I casually asked, “So, what next?” No clear answer there. A lot about having someone and not necessarily having someone. I am guessing that the idea of being in a relationship is often more enticing than the person you are with! Which is fine, all God’s children… I am not judging.

But again, my really confused unexposed mind questions, how do you fall out of this habit or how do you know that this time it is different? That your generic flirting scene has dug deeper feelings for someone. I mean, people fall in love and get together all the time right. For life! How do they know? How is that love different from… err regular love?

‘You just know’ is what I get, which hopefully I will understand one fine morning.

Until then, I am calling up some academy to register for Flirting 101 – they got a prize candidate here!


The perfect prompt over at Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda: “scene/seen” When the dam bursts inside my head when faced with, “What’s your scene with him?” – this is what happens!

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52 thoughts on “Finding Flirting 101

  1. Haha 🙂 Great piece! I’m the same way–I can never tell if a guy is interested in me…I feel like there are a lot of unspoken “rules” to the flirting/dating game that everyone’s somehow supposed to know. It seems so easy for other people to meet people and start relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Prajakta,

    I think what you got is right. You just know 🙂 Like the temple/church bell rings. There was a movie called Sarvam, it’s in Tamil and the hero goes to a psychiatrist saying that when ever he sees the lead actress, he hears a music 😛

    But then, this is a pretty elaborate guide about you. So hopefully there will be someone reading it and you never know 😉

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  3. I’ve been right there a time or two! I’m usually okay with picking up on the flirting but there have been times when I’m completely oblivious and have to be told by a friend later on. Or it’ll be worse and I’ll be the one desperately trying to flirt and he’s clueless or completely uninterested. But it makes for amusing stories afterwards!

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    • Ha ha! So glad you could connect. And it is so sad with me, I don’t even realize that I have been flirting with someone. I should just stick to talking to dogs… 😀 Thank you for commenting!

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  4. Hi Prajakta I so know where you are coming from. I am 44 years of age and have managed to be in exactly 5 relationships and none have started with an awful lot of flirting because I wouldn’t have known how that works. But I suspect that when the right one comes around you will react to the flirting and it will happen without you realising. At least that is how it worked with my husband and me. And even though you probably don’t want to hear it: We just knew :-)! Take care and feel free to explore more about love in “Love Is In Da Blog” 🙂 (no this is not meant as a hint at all….. 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ahaha…this even happens to married couples. Food always seems to be a major distraction…and a worthy one…especially cheese. Cake too. Better if they’re combined as in cheesecake. My husband laughs at me often that I seem to get more excited about dinner than nookie.

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  6. It can be confusing. I’ve been fooled before, and while flirting can be fun, it’s good to be observant for a while before jumping into a relationship. Someone who is really right for you will not be discouraged by your genuineness. You will have things in common and feel comfortable together.

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  7. The other night a random guy starting asking me questions about the buses in my town, so I answered all of his questions politely, trying to be helpful. Then he asked me if I was attending university there and what program I was in and whatnot, so I answered those questions too. Then I thought it polite to ask him back. Turns out he goes there too, and actually knows my town fairly well. It didn’t even occur to me then that he used the buses all the time and that he was just looking for a reason to talk to me. So he’s standing there and I went back to my phone and he awkwardly says “Well, nice talking to you” and walks away. It hit me much later what had actually happened. 😛

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  8. Prajakta, no matter what part of the world the “dance” goes on. For me, it was my wife (just an acquaintance then), who would be dropping those little hints. Eventually she asked me to marry her (everything was backwards…lol) and we have been happily married for 26 years. At the time of course, you don’t know if it is for life, but my Lynne definitely is.

    Do please be careful my dear friend.

    ~Carl~

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    • What a lovely story you and Lynne have Carl 🙂 Touch wood! May you have many many years more of togetherness.

      And I’ll be taking your words. I’ll wait for the right moment. Patiently 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Hahaha.. This happened a lot with one of my friends. And we would be rolling our eyes in our pajama nights (almost every other night) when she would vehemently deny anything like that. Of course, she never understood!!! 😛 😉

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  10. Hey, I liked this post too. And I know I am repeating here, but I was there too once…twice…or let’s just say I was there. And my place was even worse. I was so clueless that I didn’t even know that a guy who liked me and who often used to hang out with me and my friends was in my class for a whole year! And I will repeat about the Ýou’ll know’ part too. Coz that same guy is my husband today 🙂

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  11. Haha, great read! 🙂 But really, it’s not so much a debatable topic when food is in the question. I doubt your ‘skills’ have anything to do with it. 😛

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