Finding Flirting 101

That’s my line!

C: He was asking for your number. I’ll give him?

Me: Who? What number?

C: The guy you were ignoring for your jalapeno cheese balls….

Me: Oh him!! 😐

A typical scene from my life! I have had approximately 13.5 conversations (I abandoned one half-way; my Bailey’s shot had arrived) that fall into this pattern. After long hours of pondering, I have narrowed down the top reasons why I never know when a guy flirts with me –

1. Food
2. Dog (generally a lab)
3. Food
4. Music
5. Sheer Dumbness/Ignorance
6. Food

I am NOT joking. I am completely clueless at zooming in if a guy is genuinely being nice or actually flirting – especially with yummy cheesy food around. Yes, I am a woman with priorities sorted out really well!

I see friends fall for people in a matter of days. Or hours. They hop, skip and jump from one “relationship” to another in a matter of weeks. They decide that it clicks and off they ride into the sunset – or the nearest coffee shop. It is just their scene, you know! And then you have me, who takes months if not years to realize that someone was into me – let alone even the possibility of a relationship. At parties, I see couples everywhere and wonder where was I when they were collecting “getting together” skills!

I checked and double checked myself. Yeah, I am fine. I have those moments of insane attraction – so clearly nothing wrong in the biology department. I am pretty by most standards. And I am not a total retard. The tiniest of problems lies in missing the skill of subtly deducing that the guy talking about trying out that new place might just be asking me for a date. Apparently it is not rocket science! Generally, it is shoved into my face by a not-so-sympathetic friend who doesn’t even hide rolling her eyes. Once, someone actually deigned to share a few flirting templates for my understanding.

Yeah, woe is me.

So anyway, a friend was telling me about this girl he met sometime back and they hit off pretty well (really, where does all this happen???). They are now on a perpetual flirt mode overflowing with innuendos. I casually asked, “So, what next?” No clear answer there. A lot about having someone and not necessarily having someone. I am guessing that the idea of being in a relationship is often more enticing than the person you are with! Which is fine, all God’s children… I am not judging.

But again, my really confused unexposed mind questions, how do you fall out of this habit or how do you know that this time it is different? That your generic flirting scene has dug deeper feelings for someone. I mean, people fall in love and get together all the time right. For life! How do they know? How is that love different from… err regular love?

‘You just know’ is what I get, which hopefully I will understand one fine morning.

Until then, I am calling up some academy to register for Flirting 101 – they got a prize candidate here!

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The perfect prompt over at Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda: “scene/seen” When the dam bursts inside my head when faced with, “What’s your scene with him?” – this is what happens!