I moved.

I still can’t get my head around it. It has not yet sunk in since I am at my parents’ at the moment and will be around for some time. But I know when it is time to move out of this oyster, I will have to accept and embrace the fact that the place I have learnt to think of as “home” is now…. not.

I had ample time to prepare for it. I took my time with the packing and boxing – savoring each moment and the memory it brought back. But still, I could not stop the torrent of lasts that went through my head. The waterworks came without warning and the entire calming process would come to a grinding halt.

I am stubbornly avoiding thinking off what is coming. I already feel tired at the thought of making yet another place my “home”. Warming up to its corners and quirks and making them my own. I almost feel scared of it. Because I know even that is going to be temporary; just as I get comfortable I will have to uproot and replant myself all over again.

I have always thought of it as a “gardening” process. When you leave a place, you cut off a stem. It hurts and it bleeds – it is sore for a few days. Then slowly it starts filling out and grows into a new one… That is how growth happens. But nobody talks about the time lapse between the cut and the growth. It is sensitive and more susceptible to harm during those times; if you don’t  look after it there is a chance it can just wither away. That’s a part of you that has died.

My head and heart are in that space right now. The healing process has just begun but I am scared this time. And I just hope, the stem doesn’t wither away before it has had a chance to bloom.

I hope this also explains my absence. How are you doing? 🙂


32 thoughts on “Move

  1. I’ve always found it difficult to leave the comfort of a place I called home. But, we make each new place our home, and have the memories to carry forward from our old homes. When I visit my mom, I’m not sad anymore, but still feel comfortable as the day I had left her home. I hope that you are doing well, Prajakta! ❤


  2. It is all part of life. I am gearing myself up for a major move next year that can’t be avoided; in fact, i asked for it 🙂

    Enjoy your time…it hopefully will be all normal soon!


  3. Your move to new home will certainly be memorable with your sweet heart around.Look forward to a enjoyable life ahead. By nature you are adaptive which will help you adjust in new environment.
    Enjoy the new change.


  4. It is always sad to leave a place you liked to be. You leave something of yourself there. Depending on the reason you leave it can be even harder. I hope that soon you find a new home (which doesn’t necessarily only be a place) and feel better than ever before! Sometimes we need to leave one place in order to find a much better one. When even we cannot see while in the “moving process”…. Sending you warm hugs, Prajakta 💖


  5. The time before the beginning of the healing process- hurts. I’ve experienced it two times and every time it felt as if I’m leaving an invisible part of my existence, a shadow, behind. But we all know, eventually, the gap will fill itself up…

    Hope to see you more often once you make yourself comfortable in the new place… cheer up… 🙂


  6. Your roots are strong. Not just the physical roots, but the constants in your life. What are those people, practices, and things that have always given you strength or peace, no matter where you may roam?


  7. I feel your pain. Moving is hard. I think you are handling it beautifully- dealing with your feelings and working through the process. It will get better. 🙂


  8. Moves away from connections safe..
    comfort in warm and
    tried and true..
    Anew potentials for
    Creativity come as
    bRingS DArkness
    of challenge and liGht
    for change.. change oF all
    kinds is stress of course as
    comes in self-help projects 101..
    don’t matter though how one thiNks it
    through as much of how much do comes
    before thinK in emotional and sensory ways..
    SMiLes my FriEnd.. Prajakta..
    change is hard.. change
    is difficult and
    too much
    can lead
    to harmful ways
    of bodily destruction but
    with love help comes and your
    loved ones will surely help you on your
    way of change
    away from
    comforts home..
    sMiLe.. my friEnd i am
    a home base kinda rover
    dude.. i like my wings but i also
    enjoy my common ground of what
    i am used to.. to..o in living space comfort..
    i’LL never leave that place as longs i for one
    can control it too.. is that good or bad.. could be
    both a
    as dArk
    comes liGht2..
    best wishes to you
    my FriEnd as your dArk
    become liGht on a positive ending
    note for now.. i for one feel that iT CAN and WiLL..:)


  9. You are going to get married and move to your new house with your new family ? Is that it ?
    Don’t worry Girl, if you have a husband who loves you truly, you will Bloom once again into bunches of flowers.


  10. I have always found a lot of security living at the same place. Guess this why we have been at the same place for the last 24 years.

    Your marriage is an amazing new chapter Prajakta. I am very happy and excited for you as you start your new life in your new home.

    And thinking of new beginnings, have an absolutely wonderful 2017! 🙂


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