Not Detached – Jotting

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I am not expressive. That is not to say I don’t feel things – it is just that when I do, I am not exactly intense and emotional about it. Holds especially true for hospitals, clinics and general information when informed about how a person is sick or tragically passed away. I cannot work up appropriate responses and gestures! Don’t get me wrong – I do feel concerned and empathetic … But I just don’t fall into the depths of it?

The cold white tiles, the green robes, the pristine beds and the smell of disinfectants just do not register. The somber faces, the awkward slouch of a long wait and the muffled sobs fade into background noise.

I am not saying this correctly. Maybe what I want to say is… I isolate my heart from the whole scenario. I run from the emotion and stick to the situation, keeping my practical wits about me. I don’t get swayed with anxiety or trauma. And it is not a conscious decision drawn out of some childhood memory or incident. I just happen to be like this. For example, when my grandfather passed away – I was very much there. I was upset. For a few seconds, I was shocked and went into a corner so that I could just cry for a moment in peace. Once done, all that remained was looking after the family and friends gathered, making tea and taking care of grandma while the logistics were being handled.

But I can’t just explain this with being an introvert, can I?I know I am not disconnected. I know I feel things. I do get affected. I care…

I just don’t know if and how I should tell you about it.


Thank you Linda for getting me into the writing groove again….The Just Jot It January 13th prompt, brought to you by Charlene Bullard is: “Hospital.”

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25 thoughts on “Not Detached – Jotting

  1. Same.
    It has been expressed to me that in the event of deaths, I seem cold and distant. I think the proper description would be more like helpless and emotionally unavailable. I actually started a post about this some time ago, but I never have finished it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey, I happen to come across your blog some couple of weeks ago and since them I am visiting it every now and then. I happen to fall in love with the way you write, short and simple, clear and precise. You present your uniqueness without boasting it. Ya, I like that. I don’t think your writing is mediocre. Of course, I don’t have to tell you that. I can imagine how avid reader you are.
    And I also like the way you thank the writer and the prompt that made you think of the post. Having said that, I want to give you the due credits for the idea as I am going to follow it on my blog too 😛
    There are many things that make me feel connected with you and your blog. I hope that you will continue to write, forever!

    Like

  3. We all grieve in different ways. I’s okay to be you who you are. I know I’m a lot better at crying alone, especially the really letting it out, snotty crying, though I haven’t done that in awhile.

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  4. I think it has something to do with introversion for I feel in the same way. Not only that, I I prefer to keep silence in grave situations; hospitals etc, for I think, whatever I might say, would sound artificial to the person concerned. I do feel and care, but just hesitate to spill out some routine, plastic words…. even though, that is the norm and generally expected…

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    • As long as the other person understands, I think we are okay… And there is no reason to think why they won’t. Thanks for leaving such a kind comment as always, Mani 🙂

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  5. Beautifully expressed though i thought there are few among the crowd known as interoverts & shy but actually they are conversationally selected because when they speak its always a quality stuff.🙏😊

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  6. Grief..
    ExpresSinG
    comfort to otHers..
    hurt.. exPreSsinG
    Sorrow for
    how
    we
    feel..
    hmm.. easier
    for me to comfort
    otHers in real life
    than expressing any of
    my sorrow.. but oh Goodness..
    PoeTry takes care of that and
    thank goodness as
    Keeping
    Emotions
    insIDe
    can surely
    BrinG pain and
    misery in many unusual
    somatic ways of vague this
    and or that.. and as science shows..
    a world of mechanical cognition represses
    a world of social empathic cognition.. practice
    is as practice makes.. and then tHeir is the other side
    of FeeLinG too much and draWing iNside for basic survival..
    anyWay
    that’s
    why
    they
    invented
    poetry and
    religions.. myths
    eTC.. arT as the
    most complicated
    UniVerse overAll is surEly
    the inNer one of HuMaN as thaT
    is wHeRE we Live mindFully and bodyFully
    aware or not as Personality tests are not only
    inNate but move as Ocean Currents and hiGher
    wAves depending on the Environment aT Hand or Foot..
    oR
    oF
    course..
    brains in terms
    of stuck between the
    ears.. been to both hemispheres..
    and surely i’M Loving the FeeLinG
    one much more than the analytical one
    although reason and cool can come when
    needed as the situation warrants as AlWays
    mY FriEnD Prajakta.. a BaLanCing ForCE is what works
    for the who
    whoEver
    who is as
    Dr. Suess miGht
    also say in terms
    of green ham and
    eggs and
    Grinch
    sand
    wiches
    and yes..
    more stuff likE that..
    iN other words it’s
    the essence
    that
    counts..
    sMiles
    or not.. liFe WiLL Be iS..:)

    Like

  7. Removing yourself from the situation emotionally can sometimes be a blessing. It makes you see things clearer. People who can’t do it will claim that you are cold. But in the end it’s being rational…

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