Admissions

I admit I haven’t done a good job of sticking to my wish to blog at least once a week.

I admit I haven’t done a good job of reading other blogs as regularly as I would want to.

I admit I have fallen back into my hustle and bustle after my vacation in spite of promising myself that I will take it easy and find time to breathe.

I admit I am neglecting my health and workout routine.

I admit I need to sleep.

I admit I need to stop with the admissions and plunge head on into what has been happening.

The big one first – I moved (yes again!) to a new place with D 🙂 We have rented an apartment and the last few weeks have been just about setting it up, cleaning and washing, decorating, getting appliances and making it less echo-ey.

We are slowly getting used to calling it home. Opening the door after a long day feels GOOD! This is our space – our first big adventure post marriage (even though we are so lazy that we haven’t officially gone about registering our marriage. All in a good time! Till then, I will enjoy my “single” life”)

One thing I realized is that the initial phases of setting up simply consist of 3 Es – excitement, expenses and exhaustion, the order is entirely upto you! I am also realizing the gravity of what living with someone entails and how different it is from having roommates. I really need to get used to sharing my bathroom with a guy on a permanent basis. However, I am trying to convince him to use the common bathroom in the hallway so that I can queen over the one attached to the bedroom.

Overall, the house is almost done. A few corners and a few nooks need to be handled, but otherwise we are functioning smoothly. The WiFi is (finally!) up and I can access my blog, baby elephants GIF pages and Buzzfeed quizzes to check which dog breed I am 😀 I can’t help but feel pride and a sense of ownership within these walls. It is entirely our domain. Looking at D working by the table and tossing him bits of paper with messages makes me think, that yes… We will find time to breathe and fully delve into making a home in every sense!

How has everyone been? 🙂

Tangible – Jotting

I hate the “new beginnings” feel gripping most people. Even the most jaded lot have not been able to escape. They are playing it cool… .

I am one of those as well. Resolutely not making resolutions and stubbornly trying to stay unfazed by the turn of the calendar while furtively making plans for every month of the year, hoping to slay it big time. I even have the whole newly married tag to capitalize on as D and I go on a series  of “Meester and Missus Phirsts”.

This was supposed to be my big moment to announce that I have arrived! Arriving one more time or whatever… Basically that I have CHANGED for the BETTER.

There is no change. There is no better. Instead, I am just trying to sneak in more nap time, less work time and endless food time. No difference. Absolutely none. And since I gave the prompt of JusJoJan – “tangible”, I was hoping that I actually do something tangible and start the year with a bang so that I have something to write about!

Like the last few years – I have done zilch. Jotting lines of poetry and food inspired one-liners, rants about the world and erotica inspired satire is all that I have come up with to show for my literary quests. Or I am planning gazillion trips that I sadly just have one lifetime to cover and making itineraries that will probably never happen (Having said that, two friends have suggested I become a travel agent – apparently I rock at planning out trips and itineraries)

I will say one thing though – the one thing that is keeping me going. I want to continue with my last year’s unintended resolution and see if I can do the same this year as well. I traveled EVERY month in 2016 – even if it was just one weekend outing. And half the year, more than once a month I was out somewhere! There was not a moment when I did not have something to look forward to and I feel so thankful about it.

I want to hold on to that and do the same this year. I just need to plan … Twelve trips! That’s possible right??

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Third time around for Just Jot It January hosted by Linda. I do whatever she asks me to do. 

Fresh Start Calling

Fantasy by Totomai Martinez

Bright eyes beamed back in the mirror,

A pink smile bloomed in anticipation,

Betraying only the faintest of quivers

Of the lurking shadows in the reflection.

.

The past demons raised their fiery heads,

A franctic war ensued to douse the flames,

The smoking memories prickled the eyes

As a reminder of the ugliness to be tamed.

.

Anguished tremors took over reality,

A feeling that threatened to smother,

But the shivers will stop; you aren’t alone

With your one hand clasping the other.

.

A spark at the end of the long tunnel

Will light the way for a second innings,

The embers still flicker with past fires

But now, only to ignite new beginnings.

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At dVerse, Mary has introduced the lovely ‘phoetry’ of Totomai Martinez where we are using his photography as an inspiration for our poems. The curve of her smile and the intense look of her eyes has guided my words. 

The First Step Out

All that remains is an exhausted sigh,

The fight trickling out of the heart,

Silent, invisible and intangible

The only thing left now is to depart.

.

There is no last leaf to hold on to,

No splashes of paint on the dying tree,

The dry walkway is calling out an invite

And birds singing songs of being free.

.

The first step is always the hardest,

And brings back lost dreams, all hazy

But the first glance into the open world

Makes the next steps miraculously easy.

.

Like ripping off a stubborn band-aid,

The sting sears and scorches in deep,

But the winds cool and renew senses

To joyfully escape the arrested sleep.

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The end of a year, the end of a relationship, the end of a life, the end of an illusion. The first step out is always the hardest and perhaps, also the greatest. Just some musings on that first step and to find the courage to take it.

Written for mindlovemisery’s menagerie prompt, “Won”

Also, heading over to Open Link Night hosted by Gabriella at dVerse.