Maturity is Overrated

growing-upHumanity has been blessed with a poop-load of emotions and progressive attitudes. But, the deal of growth and development gets too pressing when all I want to do is get back to my coloring books.

Is that too much to ask for?

I think not.

Really! What kind of wiring inside our heads brings on smirks and wisecracks when we see a “grown up” indulging in pure, unadulterated child-like fun. The looks I get when I lick Nutella straight from the jar… DUH! There are thieves and murderers out there, yet I get booked for criminal conduct – well, almost! I was coloring the other day and at least six people asked after my age, my mental stability and my lack of life (*injured look*). Haha! They think they are being so funny, I am drowning in hysterics.

Not.

Now, if only I could smash their faces into a bowl of rotten condensed milk and eggs, it would tie up everything in a nice little bow. Mature, I know …

I don’t want to be a responsible adult all the time. It is so… vanilla! I want to have stupid fun which doesn’t include gyrating to crappy music and being all over someone. I want to build a nice nest of pillows and blankets, and cuddle with my best friend. I want to have a showdown with my extremely understanding boyfriend about who gets the last piece of cake. I want to serenade down the streets on a purple bicycle with tassels (Okay, I’ll rethink the tassels!). Chuck serious! I spend exactly nine hours, five times a week being serious and acting like I am the answer to world peace. Clearly, I deserve break!

But, this brings forth another issue. The definition of break! The fact that I don’t indulge in drinks (unless it is Bailey’s! *slurp*) automatically brings a round of “You still get asked for ID, no?” or “LOL, so you still have child-lock in the car?” Same when I balk at clubbing and up-scale partying. Excuse me. Why am I labelled as a “kid” just because I don’t always like dressing all sheeny and get clicked with hordes of cocktails? At times, I really just want an early morning hike instead of a late night party. And if being a kid is what it means, then I will be the best kid you have ever seen! Ha! Take that…

‘Younging’ down needs to be a trend. Presto! To refer someone as a kid should not be a form of humiliation. I mean what sadistic pleasure people get when they say, “Over there! The kid’s section – those clothes might fit you.” And honestly, kids themselves need to understand the beauty of being young and child-like. How many do we see playing on the streets nowadays? And what the hell are ‘boy issues’ at the age of six?? I feel like trashing that iPad the eight year old is busy with… but chuck it! I will contribute to the society instead. Tie up my sneakers and race with the dog in the lane to set an example for those munchkins. Very altruistic of me, no? A saint among sinners! Excuse me while I prepare my Nobel Acceptance Speech.

Oh!! To Be a Kid Again…

I miss being a kid – well who doesn’t! Apart from the fact that now I can have ice-cream for lunch and can splurge on a dress without feeling too guilty about it, I pretty much want my childhood back. I am specifically talking about my childhood – not the pouty selfie nation of the present-day kids.

So tada! Here’s presenting a list of 7 things I miss about being a kid –

  1. The inexhaustible energy! Running here and there, slipping down and under, incessant scampering and shouting … Whew! If only there was a way to bottle all that energy! I hope there is someone out there inventing a ludicrous way to store that energy. Then I am going to chase those loud and noisy munchkins like a scary energy-leeching parasite!
  2. It was a beautiful time when my only worry was whether him borrowing my pencil and not returning it meant:
    • He was an angel wanting to keep a piece of me close to his heart or
    • He was a rotten thief with sticky fingers and a sniveling nose.
  3. The bedtime stories! The whole process of being tucked in bed, being narrated a nice story, then taking a pee break only to demand one more story was  priceless. I mean, who wants late night texting and Angry Birds when you get bed-time stories! And if you are really nice, mommy (or daddy) can be manipulated into making you a cup of warm chocolate milk.
  4. The certain reality that anyone and everyone who smells good can double as a human mountain! Or a horse, or a goat or a frog. It is inevitable! You climb all over them, use them for piggy back rides or make them your mattresses. Ah, good times!
  5. Fall asleep anywhere but you will still wake up in bed! The couch, movie theaters, cars or someone’s lap – irrespective of where you start off, you will wake up in that snuggly bed with no memory of which considerate person carried you to bed.
  6. It was a time when terms like carbs, low fat, calories and lean anything were just stupid, meaningless and boring words that did not belong in any happy place. One more cheese fry please!
  7. The clothes! Have you realized that it is extremely difficult to see a badly dressed kid? Because almost any color, any style will look amazing… the cuteness factor comes to yet another rescue.

Bonus point as I am feeling extremely generous about doing my bit for the world –

  1. Be able to wear a gigantic cowboy hat and be appreciated! Look at this… I had a happy time wearing this piece of beauty. And no one even considered getting me checked for damages 😀
My Awesome Hat 🙂

Written for the prompt 2.) List 7 things you miss about being a kid. So, what do you miss the most about your sweet time as a kid?b

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