What happens when things don’t go the way you planned? What happens when life takes a U-turn from its planned course? What happens when your blissful joyride has an irreversible breakdown? How many times can you deal with the heartbreak?
Once? Twice? A lifetime?
We all have expectations – from ourselves and others. From the housemaid to your employer, from parents and family to significant others – hell even from your dog who must give you a cuddle when you down. Realistically speaking, it is impossible that all our expectations be met. Circumstances, often natural or out of our control, have a tendency to say hello and crash our hopes.
My question is, how long is too long when you keep tolerating it? This is especially true, when we rely on other people and come to depend on them. There is a time when you take those expectations almost for granted! Yeah, I earn! But I still live in the comfort that if something really horrible happens, I do have my parents’ support. Or I have the assurance that I can call my bestest friend in the world when I want to sob, irrespective of her location and time zone. Sure, disappointments are part and parcel of the game. But what happens when they become a rule? Given your track record, you realise that if the going is too good be prepared for a major screw up.
I simply stop expecting – easier right not to get hurt when things don’t go your way? Don’t expect. Don’t get hurt.
BUT! When we stop expecting and you brace yourself for the worst every single time, isn’t that the failure of the relationship? Doesn’t it make it fickle? Co-dependency is the beauty of mankind! Yet over here, we are giving up on that fundamental element because we are too wary of being let down and be disappointed all over again.
But, the show must go on. We pick ourselves, dust off, maybe do some wailing and then move on.
So, after a lot of thinking I kind of took a call and hope to stick to it. Whatever happens, my true day of failure is when I fall below my own expectations. I am determined to do my bit and give it all – at least for the sake of living up to my own hopes and not tumble from grace in my own eyes. There is a certain standard we all set for ourselves and we owe it to our self-respect that we adhere to it if not cross.
Time to make peace with being let down and simply focus on what needs to be done – irrespective of the end!
Quoting from Bhagavad Gita (Holy Book of Hindus) – To Karma (action) alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction.
The prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “bat, bet, bit, bot, but.” Clearly not a light take on it, but hey! It is SOCS for a reason…
An Armchair Perfectionist 