Mirror #writephoto

Are those cracks in the mirror or is that just me?

Is there even a difference anymore between what’s real and what’s just a leak in my imagination?

Do I even care?

How two-faced have I become?

A complete stranger.

The lights don’t do much good either,

Unearthly rays pass right through me,

Creating a sifted halo around me that does not belong.

My existence feels inconsequential.

Yet, a victim of narcissism’s muse.

I get sucked into my own reflection

Drowning in the pool to become one.

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Linking up with Thursday Photo Prompt at Sue’s.

Journey #writephoto

Journey

It will always be about you and you alone,

However extensive, immersive and convoluted the path maybe

In the end, only you can face the song of your salvation.

.

A journey that has twisted and broken the bones,

Before spitting you out into the wild

Demands a resolution that only you can surface.

.

Time has come to confront your destination,

To leave behind all traces of society and civilization

To embrace an old friend you stopped running from.

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After a long time, joining the Thursday writephoto prompt at Sue’s

Life of a Shadow

I arrived out of nowhere.

Hazy and formless I flitted over the surface,

Racing over fields and streaking over rivulets.

It was a wriggle, a walk, a sprint and a swim,

My personal kind of marathon.

.

Gradually but surely I was gaining form,

My lines became clearer and my steps became wiser.

I learnt to tread lightly on water,

But place my foot firmly on land,

And hold my breath while climbing tree tops.

.

With time, I turned dense and unyielding,

My heartbeats struggled to keep up.

But the last leg needed the best I could give,

I raced on,

Bearing witness to my emerging form.

.

Chasing and running away,

It was when I took my last breath,

When I finally met my creator

And was laid to rest.

I became myself.

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The journey from nothing to something to everything. Life is not a circle – it is the most curved straight line one can think of. Inspired by a dancing shadow of a cloud.

Thaw

It is slow. It is painful. It is unavoidable. It is welcome.

I am bending to the will of the increasing warmth of the sun. The clouds have broken through in a glorious display of song and dance, the memories of the frost all but forgotten. It feels like waking up from a long, tormented sleep where even nightmares would have been welcome instead of the blank lifeless vacuum that held no concept of meaning.

The blood is running through my fingers again as I furiously set the pen to paper. Doodles make way to letters and then somehow, magically, unfathomably, the letters are turning to words. I am afraid to stop writing lest the sunshine gets lost and I get frozen – suspended back into the land of the long winter.

Oh! I have missed being here. I have missed giving reign to my thoughts. I have missed the joy of not knowing which words my fingers might bleed. I have missed being envious of the brilliance of fellow bloggers and writers. I have missed being inspired.

It has been a long journey to open my blog again. For months I was contemplating, but I couldn’t turn it into a task. This place was always about choice, about joy and about freedom. I was loathe to make it into something akin to duty. My mind was numb. It was all about laundry lists and action items in the long journey of settling down which somehow never seemed to happen. It has been almost a year since I moved to Toronto and yet, my mind took its sweet time into making the city its own.

I don’t know when this city became home but I will tell you when I realized it – last Sunday. D and I took our first long vacation since moving here and got back on Sunday. That is when I equated the end of the vacation with coming back home. My condo and my city was what I wrapped around myself with a sense of comfort and security. This in turn, encouraged me to welcome myself back into my second home – this place 🙂

Let the good times begin! Happy Summer everyone 🙂 How have you been?

Now Open

I am opening the doors of my blog again today. Not that they were locked shut from the outside, but from the inside, it had definitely gathered some dust. I now need to love it with some fresh air and sunshine.

As I am brushing down the curtains and dusting the lounge chairs, I am finally feeling a sense of calm that has been amiss for a long long time. I am done running. I am here for good.

Last few weeks, many people reached out asking if I have quit blogging and my response was a horrified “No!”. And then came the trigger when a dear friend texted me over the weekend, checking up on my blogging hiatus and reminding me that it was Saturday – the time for my beloved SOCS post. That did the trick. I opened my blog after almost two months and headed over to see the prompt. How fitting – “Doors”.

So here I am 🙂

I am better now. I am normal now. I had traveled to Vietnam for a 10-day holiday celebrating with D our first wedding anniversary. I admit, the shadows didn’t leave me entirely, but it was a good change for both of us. And the new year brought along the most amazing development and brought many occasions of merriment – to cheer and celebrate. We opened way too many bottles of champagne and wine over the last few weeks in sheer happiness. I will post about it once I have more details around the same.

I have dealt with the horrible mess that has been going on for the last few months. Took a while and a lot of ugly scenes, but now it is firmly behind me. I am moving forward and I am doing things that I love again. I have re-started reading, baking, and running. Writing is up next. And I will be catching up with my blogger friends right about now and your stories of how 2018 has been going so far. Thank you for your support and understanding.

Whooopppeee!!!

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Belated linking to my first SOCS post of 2018 (and my overall first post of 2018)