I used to avoid confrontations – a situation has to become the most precarious jenga formation before I started pondering if I should do anything about it. I would just steadfastly examine the shape of my toenails if the other person is around. I became a flight risk.
But of course, I became a part of the evolutionary cycle and I have started looking at people in the face to start difficult conversations. The elephant in the room becomes smaller and smaller before vanishing completely.
Which really makes me wonder, how many rooms are running out of space for elephants just because of the choice of remaining passive and just brushing the dirt under the carpet lest feathers are ruffled the other way. In families, in groups of friends, in colleagues…. There are always times when the tension is as thick as cheese. But we all bite our tongues, give smiles ranging from constipated to maniacal (depending on how well we can act) and continue talking about the weather. Isn’t it strange how gossip is always welcome as long as it doesn’t concern us? Why is it so uncomfortable talking about topics that touch a sensitive chord?
Why did I make the change? Probably because it helps me sleep better. Why fret over things and how they may unfold when you can take it in your hands? I admit, I have put people at a loss of words because they weren’t expecting me to bring it up? Especially the older generation who are so used to not being questioned! I admit, that makes it a little fun… I am one of those who doesn’t respect elders just because. (C’mon! You can’t get away with age all the time)
And other times… I like being a devil’s advocate. Dialogue is never bad… and with well-timed silences, have lead to masterpiece discussions that have opened my eyes about people and relationships more than anything!
Written for Stream of Consciousness Saturday – an interesting prompt of “book title”. The Elephant Vanishes written by Haruki Murakami is a book of short stories – Highly recommend reading “Sleep” which appeared in the New Yorker. Mind-blowing!
I was dreaming of a ship, or perhaps a raft in disguise.
My eyes never looked up, my vision stayed tunneled in.
So focused on the horizon, I forgot to look beyond.
I was scared of getting lost, so I held tight to my spot.
I wasn’t the captain, or the passenger.
Nor an engineer, or even a wage worker.
I could have been a ballast to keep the balance.
But when they found me from the shipwreck,
I was written off as dead weight.
No memories of the oceans sailed remain,
The course of the journey unknown.
Left without a base to build on, there was no future to look.
When the quest for survival takes over the living,
Thankless was the death that refused to relieve.
The fear of dying before you are ready. The fear of dying before you have lived. The fear of dying before you understand what death means.
It takes a lot to fight gravity,
The first law of nature that we adapt to.
To keep our feet firmly grounded,
Lest we crash and fall.
But oh, the exhilaration of jumping in the air,
Of the innocent abandonment of playing on a swing,
A leap of faith, if nothing else.
Take the plunge to soar up,
Feel the gusts of wind bringing out wings hitherto invisible.
Don’t turn your back to increasingly piercing light of the sun,
Don’t shut your eyes and find yourself astray.
Try again if you crash hard,
And let the freedom of the flight be your guide.
Written for the weekly prompt at Sue‘s write photo challenge.
Train journeys in India are my favourite. There is barely any scope for boredom or monotony. There is no telling what you may catch from the window – it could be a smiling child at a sleepy dusty station, or a boisterous family of ten people or a runaway couple embarking on an adventure.
Landscape changes every few minutes, showing distant signs of abandoned villages or brimming towns, of fields run astray with weed and scrub or of clear lines of cotton. These images are flashing through your eyes, a never ending kaleidoscope that is almost meditative. Maybe you stumble upon a secret not meant for your knowledge but you can bask upon.
A train journey in India will change you and stay with you as a palette of colours that you can never completely identify or count. It is never completely yours and is shared with hundreds of others. But you can be assured that for those fleeting breaths, it was wholeheartedly for you to consume and dive in.
Written for: Transient
I admit I haven’t done a good job of sticking to my wish to blog at least once a week.
I admit I haven’t done a good job of reading other blogs as regularly as I would want to.
I admit I have fallen back into my hustle and bustle after my vacation in spite of promising myself that I will take it easy and find time to breathe.
I admit I am neglecting my health and workout routine.
I admit I need to sleep.
I admit I need to stop with the admissions and plunge head on into what has been happening.
The big one first – I moved (yes again!) to a new place with D 🙂 We have rented an apartment and the last few weeks have been just about setting it up, cleaning and washing, decorating, getting appliances and making it less echo-ey.
We are slowly getting used to calling it home. Opening the door after a long day feels GOOD! This is our space – our first big adventure post marriage (even though we are so lazy that we haven’t officially gone about registering our marriage. All in a good time! Till then, I will enjoy my “single” life”)
One thing I realized is that the initial phases of setting up simply consist of 3 Es – excitement, expenses and exhaustion, the order is entirely upto you! I am also realizing the gravity of what living with someone entails and how different it is from having roommates. I really need to get used to sharing my bathroom with a guy on a permanent basis. However, I am trying to convince him to use the common bathroom in the hallway so that I can queen over the one attached to the bedroom.
Overall, the house is almost done. A few corners and a few nooks need to be handled, but otherwise we are functioning smoothly. The WiFi is (finally!) up and I can access my blog, baby elephants GIF pages and Buzzfeed quizzes to check which dog breed I am 😀 I can’t help but feel pride and a sense of ownership within these walls. It is entirely our domain. Looking at D working by the table and tossing him bits of paper with messages makes me think, that yes… We will find time to breathe and fully delve into making a home in every sense!
How has everyone been? 🙂