Whoever said “what goes around, comes around” is a big fat liar. And I am a bigger fatter fool to actually believe in it and live by that philosophy.
Some days go swimmingly with smiles and laughs and good spirits being exchanged. You like the people around you, there is some great bonding and then splat and bam! There is that one mango which decides to ruin it for everyone and the ideal first target is the girl who is nice. That’s me – the girl and not the mango. The mango is a reference to those people who I wish I could beat to a pulp instead of having to smile at.
I am not a door mat – that might be pushing it, but I am someone who needs to learn how to say no more frequently than I actually do. I like being nice to people even though my over-active imagination loves to take a spin in the woods and commit some brutal assassinations (I am great with killing scenarios if you need help). But yes, I am all talk. When it comes down to action I am a curled-up fluffy mouse who will probably try to accommodate your request even if it means trouble for myself.
Yes, that is the word I was searching for. I am accommodating and nice and it isn’t always nice. There have been countless incidents in the past ten years where I am fully aware that I am being taken for a ride or “exploited”. And I go along. I spend hours and days getting work done for other people while they enjoy and go shopping! I realize it but swallow those lumps building on my throat and keep doing. There are good reasons for it too at times – the recent one (and the same one that led to this rant) had a third guy who really needed help. It was just too bad the person actually responsible for him decided to sleep and let me do it – because he knows I will. Can I get any sadder than this?
And the rare moments I take off my halo and snap at them, they have the cheek to pass comments on how I should be more helpful – “jokingly” of course. A hundred “yes” lie forgotten against that one resounding “no”. The other nice people ask me to calm down and let it go. And I do… Because I cannot do anything else now. Can I?
So where is the justice? How can so many people free-ride and get away with so little trouble while idiots like me are left picking up their shit and running out of soap?
No more Miss Nice Girl. Time to smarten up, smirk and say no. Even though I know this conviction is going to last only for the next 18 minutes. But hey! Last time it lasted for 11 minutes so there is marked improvement!
Apologies for this haphazard write… Had to vent it out. Which end do you fall on? Or are you one of those lucky balanced ones?
An Armchair Perfectionist 