Personal / Stream of Consciousness

Second Chances

Prajakta24 Comments
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I gave a second chance to this spaghetti. Tasted too tangy at first… And then.. YUMMY!!

A few hours back, I came upon a Facebook update from a schoolmate announcing her engagement to a guy with the weirdest name. I smirked, I laughed and I joked about it with a couple of friends of mine… I admit, I was being petty and mean.

The two of us never really managed to get along in spite of studying together for five years. Maybe it was the consistent rivalry over academics or attention from men folk (she totally used to get extra flirty and giggly with the boyfriend much to my resentment) or fashion… Maybe it was a clash of completely opposite personalities that never really warmed up to each other’s quirks. But here I was, seven years older and supposedly wiser, still giggling over the ridiculous name of her fiance. It left a bad taste in my mouth; I had still not forgiven her for all those taunts and paltry arguments.

A part of me still gives people the leeway of only one strike. Even if we patch up, there is a part of me that smarts unconsciously. It is difficult to give them a second chance – to forgive AND forget and simply move on. A little hypocritical as I am surprisingly lenient about forgiving myself for my misdeeds! I have handed myself not just a second chance but probably a billion ones with chocolate ice-cream!

I thought that I had finally learned to put my faith on the line even though it has been broken multiple due to circumstances often not in anyone’s control and well… Look at the smug feeling that gleefully roared when I saw she landed up with someone with such an absurd name while I ensnared a goldmine. Oh Seeeet!!!

I am still trying to get around sending her a private congratulatory message and let that awful rivalry behind me for once and for all. As I write this, I think of all other small things that hurt me (which I barely remember) and the perpetrators (whom I recollect to the last pore on their face). It is not a good feeling to hold on to such memories.

I am slowly starting to forgive those people mentally even if they are not really aware of it – chances are they don’t care either. Good news is, I established firm contact with one of them a year back and now she is one of my closest friends!

So let me help myself to a glass of wine. And then a second one. And send out a hearty congratulations message to her while maintaining a perfectly straight face as I type… “Wish you and ABC all the happiness in the world”

Sorry. I still couldn’t help but break into a laugh. God! His parents hate him I think 😀 😀

Sorry. Straight face.

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Brought to you by the good Linda Hill hosting the SOCS with the prompt “Second“

24 thoughts on “Second Chances”

  1. It is called maturity and, for most of us, is slowly acquired over many years. A 20 year old generally believes that they are a mature adult but, to an average 30 year old, they are not. The same rationale applies beyond 30!
    Your greatest asset at this time is recognizing that what you feel, and how you are reacting, is somewhat less than “adult”. Recognizing an issue is the first step to fixing it. Great job! Keep self-analyzing.

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  5. I cannot fathom what his terrible name must be!
    I think maturity is an illusion. Haven’t you heard great-grandmothers gossiping and clucking their tongues? No one is above a giggle at someone else’s expense, even if we feel bad about it, some things are just funny.
    Great post, Prajakta, so clear in it’s streaming! 🙂

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  9. You are a very gifted person to write this from a one word prompt Prajakta. I have struggled a bit over the years with my mental health, and for me to forgive, let things go and move on is very freeing.

    A very thought provoking post.

    And only 11 days until your lifetime experience! 🙂

    ~Carl~

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  10. Oh.. goodness.. i liked this one day..
    but never got around to commenting..
    after almost missing your latest one
    as you are moving on to vacation..
    and what i will say.. is writing is
    an excellent way to let
    stuff go in my
    experience
    iN Pain noW
    in general
    SAME to
    hurts
    from early
    bullies.. to first
    loves.. to deaths of
    Loving family.. friends
    and animals sAMe.. to write
    it down and pack the past in
    a book.. is often to move ahead
    free at lEast for mE.. the Beauty
    of writing dreaMs into fruition real
    on land so real.. and the Beauty
    sAme of processing memories
    of dArk for change to liGht
    WriTinG is a liFE lonG
    gift i hope you
    never leave..
    aS it surely
    IS A path to peace
    of miNd my FriEnd
    Prajakta.. iN LoVinG ways..:)

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  11. The mere fact that you acknowledged those pent up feelings, show how much you have grown since then. We are human, we can’t help but feel that way sometimes, But as long as we catch ourselves and don’t let it get the best of us, I guess it’s still a win win situation. We never really stop growing 😉

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  13. Prajakta,
    I am with you on this- there have been times and so many times when I carry old burdens, supposed ills and hurts with me – so much longer than I need to. I need to bundle them up and throw them in the trash- for they are only worth that much.
    Glad you wrote this post and got it out.
    Susie

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