I am not quite sure about the amount of hate I may generate with this post – but let me get it out anyway.
I am not a fan of babies. I have never been a baby person. I have never gone “Awww… So cute” when I saw a baby except a few that I really thought were cute (Those few I can count on the fingers of one hand and still have fingers to dip in the jar of Nutella to lick). I am that person who can simply ignore when a baby is being too cute and vying for attention.
I am also not mean or cruel or cold. It’s just that the attraction of a baby never reached me fully. I am more likely to be attracted by a GIF of a chocolate fondant cake than the hundred pictures of a baby. I am in that age-group where some people have started having babies or the baby-talk has entered their life. At this point, I am not sure what I can add to the talk. Neither do I know much about babies, or am interested in their activities or have any inclination to have one in the near future. (Near… Far… That will take another 10000 words to express)
My friend took it upon herself to melt my heart and bombarded me with the cutest baby photographs and GIFs. I admit, there were some really adorable ones that did squirm into the corner of my heart. But the one that caught my eye had a puppy in it and then I was lost. I spent the next one hour looking up videos of puppies playing with babies then progressed to puppies playing with other puppies and finally to puppies playing with kittens.
When I meet a baby, I cannot fawn over him or her! I just cannot. I will play (those feet are so cuddly!) and smile (those gurgling noises are cute!) and make faces (those laughs and shiny eyes!). But they don’t really become a part of my universe. It just does not happen.
I think it is fine. I know I make a cool aunt… the babies who became pre-schoolers and young adults will vouch for it. I have also been awarded the favourite aunt by three of them. Not too bad eh, for someone who is not a baby fan?
Written for Daily Post Prompt Baby
An Armchair Perfectionist 
I think, it is fine, that you are honest about your feelings, Prajakta 🙂
First of all, if you are going to ever have a baby, it should be, when you feel ready and not when others feel, that you are ready.
Not all feel the need ever and this is also okay. We are different each of us.
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I can totally relate to this! Every line had me going “oh my god, this is me!”. Ditto for the chocolate fondue gif and puppies!!! You aren’t alone, dear. I’m with you on this
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I wish I knew the psychological reasons behind this dislike. This Anti kinderschema thing.
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I was (still am) much the same and, I am assured by others, this is not unusual. My conclusion is that much as I love people in general over a broad range of ages, I need to “see” the personality… and I cannot with a young baby. Invite me around when it is walking and trying to assert itself on the world but, prior to that? Sorry… but I just cannot get very enthusiastic! 🙂
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This is a very honest and real post, Prajakta. True, it doesn’t apply to everyone but I can sure relate to it. Just like you, I smile and play with each baby I see but don’t fawn all over 😀 I also don’t look at baby photos at all. I have a baby cousin whom I adore and will never tire of holding and cuddling, so he’s an exception. Plus I also consider the main characters in my book as my babies, but that is also something else 😀 On a general level, just like you, I’m not that big a baby fan 😀
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hard to believe…
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Ha ha.. it all starts with play, smile and making faces! Wait for it.. 🙂
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I think it is okay. 😀 I like babies. But I can’t go Aww for every baby that crosses my path which most of my friends do. Sometimes, it is very weird when all of my friends are making faces at a baby and I really don’t feel like it. So I awkwardly look at them! Other times, I find them really cute 🙂
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There is nothing wrong with not dying from adoration for little peeps who throw up and poop in their diapers… lol! There truly are very cute babies. I think it is also a matter of the character which matches with ours or doesn’t. I always thought my babies were cute but that is a completely different connection and also a mother sees more the person behind the pooping creature… lol!
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Totally get this. I’ve *never* enjoyed being with, looking at, hearing, smelling, trying to have an adult conversation with other adults while one is in the room… the whole enchilada. While I understand that we (you and I) are not alone in this, we are in the minority. And that can be challenging.
I’ll never forget something an old boss used to say: “I don’t like babies. I just like making them.”
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Haahaa…lol! I am smiling a lot while reading this innocent and honest writeup as i had a similar thought process till i hold my niece(the first time when i actually got to know how to hold a baby in correct manner).
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You’re not alone. I HAD babies, and still don’t think babies are all that. I don’t care for them. Seriously. I love my own, but I was never a baby person, assume I never will be, and wouldn’t have had them if they didn’t quickly become people-y 🙂 I don’t want to hold them, and I certainly never say things like, “Let me smell him” or some nonsense thing baby people do.
Puppies over babies any ol day, Prajakta.
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It is perfectly fine, to be honest about your feelings. I mean, I have a natural inclination to be friendly with them and they do love me, in return. But, at the same time, they do not enter my universe. I am single and not married but many friends told me, I am a charmer with them:) We all have our plus with people or things.
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Agreed! I develop a liking for certain babies over time, after I get to know them. Well, on second thought, I guess you can’t exactly call three-year-olds babies.
So, yeah, babies don’t fascinate me. I can’t be the person who goes out of her way to play with them or try to make them laugh. Those weird sounds and faces? Nope, not me. Awkward…
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Finally someone said the dreaded B-word! In this world of choices, why not? Everyone is exercising choices based on their own moral and material compass; some not to marry, some not to work, etc..
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I totally agree. As I get older I can appreciate them a bit more, but only a tiny bit. For me I think it’s due to a combination of feeling like women are ‘supposed’ to love and want babies, along with not wanting to elbow into the baby
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Sorry- I pressed reply by accident before I was finished.
Anyway, there’s the not wanting to have to fight my way to hold the baby, plus there’s the fact that after the first couple of minutes, I no longer have a clue as to what to do with them.
Great post 😀
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To me, cuteness never really factors into it. Babies are just small humans that will eventually become larger ones with more responsibilities, and I try to treat them accordingly. Any children I’m impressed with are ones that show intelligence and empathy.
That said, for whatever reasons I cannot explain, people hand me their infants. I have been in too many situations where people just freaking hand me their tiny children. While it’s flattering that people might trust me with precious cargo, the rudeness of it all more than makes up for it. It feels like it’s more related to generic social pressure people put on others to have children. Having them isn’t a team sport or a cool fad; it’s a big freaking responsibility more people should take more seriously.
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Oh.. Prajakta.. i love the diversity
of all of human Nature.. nah.. not all
have the same Maternal instinct and some
have literally none and never will.. male and or female..
like the Wrong Planet online i used to visit where aversion
to babies was as common as everyday allergies
to pollen..
a matter of
human nature in
hormonal ways of birth..
ourselves and environmental
ways of more left brain analytical
corporate think as opposed to
down on the
farm
raising right brain
life.. balance comes
for what we must do in life..
as opposed to what we may
even wanna do in life..
not all folks
are even
cut out
to have
babies.. of course..
and to make someone
go where they do not naturally
wanna go.. is a source of much human
misery and suffering in the case of forced
arranged dowry marriages and stuff like that
surely when the innate stuff is not there to nurture
at all.. anyway.. if you like puppy love.. if and when you
do get pregnant and have children.. no doubt when Nature
changes you too in hormone way.. the nurture and attachment will
come as it did for even me.. when i had my first and only child then..
the first time then.. i understood what all encompassing non-conditional
love is.. it’s Nature and the core of survival/thrival.. not only the will but the love to go on..
And with that said
here is a little more
cat
duck
Love to move ya too..;)
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Hahaha… I love this post and let me tell you one thing: I was never one of the girls or women who went awww either when seeing a baby. Honestly, I often wondered what the big deal is about them. Then my friend had her baby and it changed slightly because I could relate. I had a relationship to this little creature because her mom was my friend. And then I became a mom and it changed things so massively. I do look at babies in a very different way. I appreciate their soft skin and the scent of their skin, which is something so unique… 🙂
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I love your honesty! While I do love babies, well kids in general and dogs a lot – I have a few friends that feel the same as you. Love that we are all so completely different!! Great post!
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I was very much like this before I had babies. In my twenties, I preferred children I could talk with. But when I had babies of my own this strange bio-chemical thing happened, and I got all sentimental and engaged in plenty of baby talk as if it was involuntary. I still don’t get all gaga over other people’s babies. It takes me a while to warm up to them. I don’t want to invade their space to quickly. Good for you for having the courage to be real. That’s often how we learn we are not alone.
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Ha ha.. I love your frankness
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[…] An Armchair Perfectionist About babies… […]
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I am not blocking you, I would say ‘whatever suits you’ 😊
I adore the ones that really catch my attention a second time. So, in that respect I am like you 😉
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Even I am ‘that’ kind of person who has never gone all ‘AAAWWWW’ for babies.
But I think it is just not us. I may not dislike them, I may find them totally adorable but they are just not ‘everything’ for me.
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I am exactly like you with regards to babies. I think it is completely OK. There is a reason we are all different. When we all try to be the way society expect us to be, then the unique qualities we have get lost a long the way. I have come to accept it, and so have most of my friends. It has been a very long time since I was sent a cute baby pic. 🙂
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I think it’s okay. I loved the way you’ve expressed yourself honestly and clearly. A friend of mine, a mother of a girl, also doesn’t like babies, that is, up to the age-group of say, 3/4 years… but, just like you, she is also quite popular among the older ones. So, it’s not an uncommon thing… 🙂
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It shouldn’t generate any form of hate to express honest feelings about how you feel. I think that society has tried to program women to automatically feel that they should love babies and fawn all over one which then makes it seem as if when a lady doesn’t feel that way that it’s wrong. I don’t agree with such notions. I love babies and not quite sure when I became aware of that fact, but I have several friends who are not crazy about them and it’s perfectly fine.
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I love this post. I’m a new mom and I totally get the not liking babies thing. Don’t get me wrong, I like MY baby and a couple others (just in case their mothers see this) but on the whole NOPE! Having had a baby and kept it alive past the newborn stage I cringe when I see newborn baby photos because instead of thinking how precious they are I start reliving the nightmare of not sleeping for months. I think posts like this are necessary and there is room in the conversation for your voice too. To those people who think you just haven’t met the ‘right baby’ or who are thinking… ‘oh just you wait… you’ll love them one day!’ That’s crap.
Who knows, maybe you will change your mind – that’s your right, maybe not. But for now there’s no reason to suspect that you’ll spontaneously begin to love babies and to assume or propose that you will is a marker of patriarchy and sexism thinly veiled by lighthearted commentary.
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well said!
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Reading your comment made me feel like this could be me in a few years 😀 Thank you so much for your understanding and sharing your experiences 🙂
p.s. your blog is lovely!
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Well That was really honest. Loved the way you wrote , looking forward to reading your future posts
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Thanks a lot Raoul 🙂 Will stop by your blog soon!
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Thank you for stopping by
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I used to be exactly like this, not liking babies… until I had mine so don’t worry things might change in future
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I am keeping myself open to that possibility 🙂 thanks!
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That’s too funny! As a mom of three I can also say I am not a huge fan of babies although they are growing on me. Its not my favorite stage, I much prefer when they become toddlers and start to talk and walk. I was a waitress for most of my life and everyone would gush over the babies that came in and I would just shy away. I love my kiddos beyond anything but I totally get where you are coming from.
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Thank you so much for sharing your experiences 🙂 I think it will be a fascinating journey to see them evolve right in front of me.
P.S. I can see how much they have grown on you based on your blog name 😀
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