“The more you know, the less you feel… Some pray for, others steal
Blessings are not just for the ones who kneel… luckily”
– City of Blinding Lights, U2.
This song is one of my favourites and these lines strike home every time. If I just focus on these two lines – the last line to be precise, there is some elemental truth there.
Faith. Prayers. Blessings.
Beautiful words.
Then bring on Religion. And say goodbye to clarity.
I have come across many people on and off the blogosphere it who are unerringly devout. And I respect that. Met people who are the opposite and are firm atheists. I respect that too.
And perhaps I envy them just a bit. Because they know exactly where their faith lies! Maybe a few are too brash and indulge in excessive bashing of the other side, but most of them respectfully accept. Because, faith is personal. Intimate.
But somehow, I am not sold by either side. Too much has happened in the name of God making us abandon our sense our accountability. And since when was it necessary to pray or observe fasts to be granted a place in heaven or wait for hours in scorching heat to get blessings… I mean, how can devotion be directed??? The other side doesn’t help either – I refuse to accept that there is no greater power and we are all here only because of a few well-timed explosions! No No. This is all too awesome to be an accident.
And… I am from Ahmedabad and I saw the 2002 Godhra riots up close. My best friend moved overnight simply because of the fact that she was a Muslim. I never met her after that and that pain still pinches. Exchanged a few letters, e-mails and phone calls. That’s it. The memory makes me wince at religions and biases.
By birth, I am a Hindu. And my family is devout. But somehow, it never trickled down in me and neither was it ever enforced. All I do is that I light incense sticks in my room as I know it makes my parents happy – which roughly sums up my idea of devotion! It makes my parents happy. And there is nothing more I want and neither is this something reluctantly done. I like those quiet moments of silent reflection. There something relaxing about being spiritual without being religious.
Which isn’t really a bad thing. Don’t they always say that this journey is glorious and pure and often, a limitless one? Which means that I may not ever reach my destination of really defining my faith! “Why are we here?” “What is my purpose?” – Questions beyond the physical and tangible realms remain unanswered in my mind. The only solid ground that I have found is literally our ground – Gaea, Terra, Earth. She supports us and enables life; worshiping her is the least I can do.
It also makes it easy to live with this feeling that I am never really going to find those divine answers. Welcome this quote from Angels & Demons that helps –
“Science tells me God must exist. My mind tells me I will never understand God. And my heart tells me I am not meant to.”
Peace.
What drives your faith? Or the lack of it? And fellow confused seekers… what do you think? Any luck finding your way? Do you even want to?
Well… Happy First Anniversary to my blog anyway!
An Armchair Perfectionist 