I am not expressive. That is not to say I don’t feel things – it is just that when I do, I am not exactly intense and emotional about it. Holds especially true for hospitals, clinics and general information when informed about how a person is sick or tragically passed away. I cannot work up appropriate responses and gestures! Don’t get me wrong – I do feel concerned and empathetic … But I just don’t fall into the depths of it?
The cold white tiles, the green robes, the pristine beds and the smell of disinfectants just do not register. The somber faces, the awkward slouch of a long wait and the muffled sobs fade into background noise.
I am not saying this correctly. Maybe what I want to say is… I isolate my heart from the whole scenario. I run from the emotion and stick to the situation, keeping my practical wits about me. I don’t get swayed with anxiety or trauma. And it is not a conscious decision drawn out of some childhood memory or incident. I just happen to be like this. For example, when my grandfather passed away – I was very much there. I was upset. For a few seconds, I was shocked and went into a corner so that I could just cry for a moment in peace. Once done, all that remained was looking after the family and friends gathered, making tea and taking care of grandma while the logistics were being handled.
But I can’t just explain this with being an introvert, can I?I know I am not disconnected. I know I feel things. I do get affected. I care…
I just don’t know if and how I should tell you about it.
Thank you Linda for getting me into the writing groove again….The Just Jot It January 13th prompt, brought to you by Charlene Bullard is: “Hospital.”
An Armchair Perfectionist 
Same.
It has been expressed to me that in the event of deaths, I seem cold and distant. I think the proper description would be more like helpless and emotionally unavailable. I actually started a post about this some time ago, but I never have finished it.
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I had actually written emotionally unavailable in my post as well – but that was a rabbit hole I was scared to explore. I hope you complete your post soon – would really like to read it.
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I understand. May I ping back to you when I do?
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I would really appreciate that!
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Will do.
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Hey, I happen to come across your blog some couple of weeks ago and since them I am visiting it every now and then. I happen to fall in love with the way you write, short and simple, clear and precise. You present your uniqueness without boasting it. Ya, I like that. I don’t think your writing is mediocre. Of course, I don’t have to tell you that. I can imagine how avid reader you are.
And I also like the way you thank the writer and the prompt that made you think of the post. Having said that, I want to give you the due credits for the idea as I am going to follow it on my blog too 😛
There are many things that make me feel connected with you and your blog. I hope that you will continue to write, forever!
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Thank you very much for your kind words. I am so glad my writing has made an impact on you. Looking forward to connecting and reading your work 🙂
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We all grieve in different ways. I’s okay to be you who you are. I know I’m a lot better at crying alone, especially the really letting it out, snotty crying, though I haven’t done that in awhile.
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Thank you JoAnna. Good that you haven’t had a snotty one lately – they make sleeping so much harder.
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Yes. I usually feel hungry after a good cry, once I’m cleaned up. 🙂
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I think it has something to do with introversion for I feel in the same way. Not only that, I I prefer to keep silence in grave situations; hospitals etc, for I think, whatever I might say, would sound artificial to the person concerned. I do feel and care, but just hesitate to spill out some routine, plastic words…. even though, that is the norm and generally expected…
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As long as the other person understands, I think we are okay… And there is no reason to think why they won’t. Thanks for leaving such a kind comment as always, Mani 🙂
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Beautifully expressed though i thought there are few among the crowd known as interoverts & shy but actually they are conversationally selected because when they speak its always a quality stuff.🙏😊
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Thanks a lot Prashant 🙂 Conversationally selected is a different perspective!
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this is well expressed – & perfectly ok – thank goodness for people like you – I am a mess in such situations…
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Thanks a lot… I am sure it isn’t as messy as you think it is 🙂
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Grief..
ExpresSinG
comfort to otHers..
hurt.. exPreSsinG
Sorrow for
how
we
feel..
hmm.. easier
for me to comfort
otHers in real life
than expressing any of
my sorrow.. but oh Goodness..
PoeTry takes care of that and
thank goodness as
Keeping
Emotions
insIDe
can surely
BrinG pain and
misery in many unusual
somatic ways of vague this
and or that.. and as science shows..
a world of mechanical cognition represses
a world of social empathic cognition.. practice
is as practice makes.. and then tHeir is the other side
of FeeLinG too much and draWing iNside for basic survival..
anyWay
that’s
why
they
invented
poetry and
religions.. myths
eTC.. arT as the
most complicated
UniVerse overAll is surEly
the inNer one of HuMaN as thaT
is wHeRE we Live mindFully and bodyFully
aware or not as Personality tests are not only
inNate but move as Ocean Currents and hiGher
wAves depending on the Environment aT Hand or Foot..
oR
oF
course..
brains in terms
of stuck between the
ears.. been to both hemispheres..
and surely i’M Loving the FeeLinG
one much more than the analytical one
although reason and cool can come when
needed as the situation warrants as AlWays
mY FriEnD Prajakta.. a BaLanCing ForCE is what works
for the who
whoEver
who is as
Dr. Suess miGht
also say in terms
of green ham and
eggs and
Grinch
sand
wiches
and yes..
more stuff likE that..
iN other words it’s
the essence
that
counts..
sMiles
or not.. liFe WiLL Be iS..:)
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[…] began this post last fall, and I don’t know when or if I would have posted it, had I not read Prajakta’s post along the same lines. Just Jot It January brings a lot of inspiration. Today’s prompt is […]
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Removing yourself from the situation emotionally can sometimes be a blessing. It makes you see things clearer. People who can’t do it will claim that you are cold. But in the end it’s being rational…
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Very true! Instead of blurring the reality, it helps to maintain clarity. Thanks Sandra!
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[…] An Armchair Perfectionist About detaching… […]
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I think many people feel the same as you do. Being rational and helpful is a good thing in times of crisis or sadness.
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Thank you for your kind words, Tonya 🙂
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🙂
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I wish I could be you for a moment. I care a little too much at times.
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